The Cycle

Have you ever wondered why your relationships seem familiar at one point or another? Does it bother you that no matter who you're with, you often follow a similar relationship pattern? Do you find yourself thinking that you must be different because you're relationships have a tendency to fail because of such patterns? The answer to the three questions is probably a resounding yes, but I urge you not to panic!! You aren't weird, strange or remotely different. You are just stuck in the modern day relationship cycle! You might be wondering what I mean by "the cycle," so let me enlighten you.

We've all fallen victim to the cycle at some point in our dating lives whether we want to admit it or not. Unfortunately or Fortunately, depending on how you view relationships, men and women are both looking for the same thing when seeking a significant other, "the rush." What I mean by "the rush," is the odd and alluring interest in certain members of the opposite sex. This rush is what we are looking to feel inside for the entirety of any and all relationships. I'm sure I'm not bursting your bubble when I tell you this, but this rush doesn't last forever, and when we finally realize that it doesn't we try to seek it elsewhere. Enter, the Cycle...

The Cycle is broken into 9 steps and if you pay close attention, you will undoubtedly see parallels in your own relationships.

Step 1: Striking Gold

We see or meet someone of the opposite sex that sparks an uncontrollable desire to get to know them on both a personal and intimate level.

Step 2: Dating

You display your best features and hide the bad ones, resulting in either rejection or falling in "love."

Step 3: Romance

Time moves on. Swell of passion begins to fade. He/she is still perfect . . . mostly, well except maybe for this one little thing...

Step 4: Honeymoon's Over

A wide assortment of minor problems emerge, usually each party blaming the other, either loudly or secretly.

Step 5: Wake Up Call

Problems, issues, and troubles.Infatuation fully fades away. You realize that this other person is just another normal, flawed, breathing, scratching, coughing, fearful, complicated human being, just like yourself, more or less. Often this is accompanied by feelings of betrayal, of having been wronged, let down, disappointed, or hurt.

Step 6: Change of Heart

You realize that your partner really wasn't the answer to your problems and start to feel like you're back at square one. Alone!

Step 7: To Be or Not To Be

This step depends largely on how you react to your sudden realization...do you break up or stay together? Get or divorce or work it out?

Step 8: The Aftermath

Typically if you're at this step you've decided to move on and take some time to reflect. And by reflect I mean blame the entire destruction of the relationship on the other person and find someone "better."

Step 9: The Next Gold Mine

Ahh...Back to Step 1!!!