In my humble opinion, the most important part of the maturation process in every aspect of life is figuring out not only what you want, but how you intend on getting it. We all have dreams, but the difference between fantasy and reality is those who know what they have to sacrifice in order to get what they want. The dream of finding someone to spend your life with is no different than dreaming of getting a great job or buying your "dream car." However, many people approach it differently in that they think that their special someone will just appear out of nowhere, or fate will decide whether or not they will find the man/woman of their dreams.
I hate to break it to you, but most of the successful people in the world didn't become that way by playing the waiting game...
So now that I've discussed how important it is to get off your ass and find your own happiness, allow me to enlighten you on the hardest part of finding what it is you want. Chances are, once you get it, you aren't going to want nearly as bad. And eventually, will begin to lose interest. So am I saying that it's impossible to find what you're looking for and be satisfied?! Not at all. Am I saying that what we want will always evolve, because something new will come along that catches our eye. The key is finding contentment in what we have so that we don't allow our happiness to be dependent on the instant gratification that comes with finding someone new or "better."
I am more guilty than most of always looking for "greener pastures," and it's something I'll have to overcome in order to find true happiness. It isn't easy being content with what we have in a society that constantly pushes products, lifestyles and reality T.V. to make us feel inadequate in regards to our own lives. But the truth is that there are people that look up to the way we live as individuals and wish they had our lives. Perhaps if we realized that we were the object of other peoples envy, we would truly appreciate the lives we had and in turn be content with whom we are spending it with.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Relationships vs Relation"shits"
Attraction must be put into consideration when talking about a romantic relationship. You cannot love someone you are not attracted to, and the first attraction of women towards Men is in a different way to that of Men towards women. Most Men are first attracted to Women by the way they look. Interestingly enough, serious Ladies seek for Human qualities and not the physical beauty of a man, concentration on the personality and behavioral qualities that would make a flitting match for their personality.
Women derive delight and pleasure on a deeper level. This ever so complicated process takes more soul and emotional communication with her partner. Sexual satisfaction for most women does not solely come in a physical form. Women require emotional nurture and need to count on affection and understanding from the partner. Therefore, while the physical counts a lot on the first attraction of a man towards a woman, the physical is totally irrelevant for the woman.
Most often, it is not our fault when a bad relationship happens or a good relationship ends in a bad note, in which more of the ladies innocently fall victims than the Men. How?
The man easily gets physically attracted to the woman (only on few occasions do the reverse occur) and the man could as well easily fake factors of attraction towards him. For example, a woman loves a well- dressed, polite, gentle and very Humble Man. These qualities can easily be faked and patiently maintained for a certain period of time by any interested man, just to ensure he has her to himself. But as for the woman, how can she pretend to be tall, busty and curvy just to get a man who has such taste, which is the direct opposite of what she is? In general, lustful driven acquaintances are mostly triggered by the men.
The point is some relationships which end badly are as a result of a planned intention even before they get started and a large percentage of this situation is well executed by the Men. He sees what he likes and then strategizes on how to get what he wants. Love at first sight rarely ever exists and relationships built on Love are not a one day or one sight process. Gradual growth propelled by building blocks of trust, responsibilities, patience and other good virtues is the key.
Women derive delight and pleasure on a deeper level. This ever so complicated process takes more soul and emotional communication with her partner. Sexual satisfaction for most women does not solely come in a physical form. Women require emotional nurture and need to count on affection and understanding from the partner. Therefore, while the physical counts a lot on the first attraction of a man towards a woman, the physical is totally irrelevant for the woman.
Most often, it is not our fault when a bad relationship happens or a good relationship ends in a bad note, in which more of the ladies innocently fall victims than the Men. How?
The man easily gets physically attracted to the woman (only on few occasions do the reverse occur) and the man could as well easily fake factors of attraction towards him. For example, a woman loves a well- dressed, polite, gentle and very Humble Man. These qualities can easily be faked and patiently maintained for a certain period of time by any interested man, just to ensure he has her to himself. But as for the woman, how can she pretend to be tall, busty and curvy just to get a man who has such taste, which is the direct opposite of what she is? In general, lustful driven acquaintances are mostly triggered by the men.
The point is some relationships which end badly are as a result of a planned intention even before they get started and a large percentage of this situation is well executed by the Men. He sees what he likes and then strategizes on how to get what he wants. Love at first sight rarely ever exists and relationships built on Love are not a one day or one sight process. Gradual growth propelled by building blocks of trust, responsibilities, patience and other good virtues is the key.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Desperation Dating
Are you falling for your date? Fine, but please don't be a desperate dater!!! Yes, you simply adore your date and would love to take the relationship to the next level, but do not ever be a desperate dater. If you are acting desperate, then you will surely end up harming your relationship in the long term. If on the other hand your partner appears desperate, then take note of this and ask yourself why he or she is being so desperate. Is this because the person is in love with you all too soon, or is it because the person has a history of several broken relationships, or perhaps it is just a case of low self confidence and esteem.
Here are 5 Not To's in the Desperate Dating World:
1) Never go out on last minute notices - Perhaps your date has called up just now and asked you to go out in 10 minutes. Say ‘No’. However instead of flatly refusing, say that you are too busy right now, and propose an alternative date. This is important because if you agree, even if you are free, this might set the wrong expectation and you may be taken for granted. Never let this happen. Set things straight on what can and what cannot happen early on in your relationship.
2) Never forget your friends - Those who are really desperate often drop friends because they fear that friends might come in the way, or worst case, one of them might steal their date. This is not acceptable. Friendship is a noble thing and you must never forget your true friends for anyone. A date and a friend are two different people, and one must not come in the other’s way.
3) Those who are desperate need to be reassured always - You will find many people who are so low in confidence that they need to be comforted and reassured always, and this can come into dating too. Though the two of you are advancing steadily in the relationship stage by stage, your date might try to hurry things up. Or if the two of you are firmly committed, your date might keep asking you once in a while how much you love him/her, and similar other questions. You are sure to feel weary after a while.
4) Does the person seem to cling on? - People who are really desperate are tending to feel insecure. As a result they end up asking prying questions such as who attended that party last night, who sits next to you in office and others like this. Is the person trying to hold on too tightly? This approach never works over the long term.
5) Is the person trying to justify bad treatment? - Perhaps the two of you had a fight which is quite natural in any relationship. Perhaps you lost your head and said some bad things. Your date surely has the right to be aggrieved if you did. Perhaps you might even be feeling bad about it once you have cooled down. But does it seem that your date is going overboard trying to justify your actions? If yes, the person is sure enough desperate. Overall desperate dater will always take lot of gruff and accept poor treatment.
Here are 5 Not To's in the Desperate Dating World:
1) Never go out on last minute notices - Perhaps your date has called up just now and asked you to go out in 10 minutes. Say ‘No’. However instead of flatly refusing, say that you are too busy right now, and propose an alternative date. This is important because if you agree, even if you are free, this might set the wrong expectation and you may be taken for granted. Never let this happen. Set things straight on what can and what cannot happen early on in your relationship.
2) Never forget your friends - Those who are really desperate often drop friends because they fear that friends might come in the way, or worst case, one of them might steal their date. This is not acceptable. Friendship is a noble thing and you must never forget your true friends for anyone. A date and a friend are two different people, and one must not come in the other’s way.
3) Those who are desperate need to be reassured always - You will find many people who are so low in confidence that they need to be comforted and reassured always, and this can come into dating too. Though the two of you are advancing steadily in the relationship stage by stage, your date might try to hurry things up. Or if the two of you are firmly committed, your date might keep asking you once in a while how much you love him/her, and similar other questions. You are sure to feel weary after a while.
4) Does the person seem to cling on? - People who are really desperate are tending to feel insecure. As a result they end up asking prying questions such as who attended that party last night, who sits next to you in office and others like this. Is the person trying to hold on too tightly? This approach never works over the long term.
5) Is the person trying to justify bad treatment? - Perhaps the two of you had a fight which is quite natural in any relationship. Perhaps you lost your head and said some bad things. Your date surely has the right to be aggrieved if you did. Perhaps you might even be feeling bad about it once you have cooled down. But does it seem that your date is going overboard trying to justify your actions? If yes, the person is sure enough desperate. Overall desperate dater will always take lot of gruff and accept poor treatment.
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