It is a known fact that women are attracted to older men. When I say older, I don't necessarily mean that a twenty-five year old will date a man who's seventy-three. What I'm saying is that relative to their own age, women, in general, will date men that are a few years older than themselves. So if a woman is twenty, she'll date a man in his thirties. If she's thirty, she'll probably date a man in his forties and so on. Why is it that women behave in such a way?
She is primarily interested in getting a husband-to-be on the hook.
Most women will admit that they want a strong man who can stand his own ground and be confident. Back in the day, this meant an egg fertilizer with blessed genetics who could hunt to feed his family while protecting them from predators.Of course, today we live in a more civilized society. Women no longer need a mate, hunter or protector (basically, they don't need men). But because of her upbringing, a woman still expects a man to provide for his family. She now expects her man to be mature and provide financial stability along with long-term security.
All these traits can be found in most men that are eighteen or over. But more often than not, women will associate older men with the capability of providing all the aforementioned traits.
Obviously, it isn't a big mystery why older men tend to look for younger women. They're usually physically fit, full of energy (makes him feel younger) and have a strong sex drive. Let's not forget that ego also plays a major role. Think about when you see an older man with a beautiful woman around your age. Do you not immediately begin to say to yourself "why is she with him?" or basically any jealous thought that pops into your head. Men generally love to be looked up to by their peirs and what better way to snag that attention then by having a young, sexy and vibrant woman at your side?
Now ladies, just as you tend to date older men for reasons that pertain to your own agenda, older men tend to use the situation to their advantage also. Sure all men are attracted to a young beautiful woman, but the type of older man that can get such a girl knows that he has a certain power over the said woman. He knows that she is seeking a potential husband to be and that he is better suited to give her a life more suitable to that than most. So what do most men do when they know they have the upper hand?!? They manipulate the hell out of the situation.
Remember, relationships are alot like the business world, if you have the supply there will always be a demand!!!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Ladies Man vs Man's Man
(for the women of the world)
Upon reading the title of this post, you might wonder what I mean by the term "Man's Man" and what it is in comparison to a "Ladies Man." The truth is that both of these men have very similar characteristics, but a few MAJOR differences that create a distance or gap in how they are responded to by women. Both are alluring in nature and have a knack for dealing with the female gender. Each has a unique way of attracting the most unattainable women. So, what's the difference?
Lets start with loosely defining the Man's Man.
A Man's Man is the type of man that most men look up to and strive to be. He's good looking, well spoken and always dresses to impress. When he walks into a room, both men and women take notice and begin to compete with or for attention. He's strong minded and rarely tells people what they want to hear. He keeps himself in great shape and is good at most things. He usually strives to be the center of attention and is naturally competitive. He knows he's good looking and usually makes relationships about himself rather than his partner. (see also emotionally challenged)
The Ladies Man is slightly different than a Man's Man, but has similarities as well. He is good looking, well spoken and typically is slightly fashion obsessed (metro sexual.) He is smooth and knows how to talk to his way into and out of any situation. His education level and ability to communicate usually makes him successful. He portrays an image of strength and mystery that has an unexplainable allure to all types of women. The Ladies Man usually has only a few male friends as he relates better to women. His strength lies in his ability to relate to women on a deeper level. He typically makes the relationship about the women he is with, but rarely sticks around. (see also player)
While these two types of men are typically the most attractive to the female gender, these are usually the types women should avoid as neither have an optimistic view on male/female intimacy. Both men have great potential and could easily be great boyfriends, husbands and eventual fathers, but their inability to commit to something bigger than themselves makes them red flags in the dating world.
Upon reading the title of this post, you might wonder what I mean by the term "Man's Man" and what it is in comparison to a "Ladies Man." The truth is that both of these men have very similar characteristics, but a few MAJOR differences that create a distance or gap in how they are responded to by women. Both are alluring in nature and have a knack for dealing with the female gender. Each has a unique way of attracting the most unattainable women. So, what's the difference?
Lets start with loosely defining the Man's Man.
A Man's Man is the type of man that most men look up to and strive to be. He's good looking, well spoken and always dresses to impress. When he walks into a room, both men and women take notice and begin to compete with or for attention. He's strong minded and rarely tells people what they want to hear. He keeps himself in great shape and is good at most things. He usually strives to be the center of attention and is naturally competitive. He knows he's good looking and usually makes relationships about himself rather than his partner. (see also emotionally challenged)
The Ladies Man is slightly different than a Man's Man, but has similarities as well. He is good looking, well spoken and typically is slightly fashion obsessed (metro sexual.) He is smooth and knows how to talk to his way into and out of any situation. His education level and ability to communicate usually makes him successful. He portrays an image of strength and mystery that has an unexplainable allure to all types of women. The Ladies Man usually has only a few male friends as he relates better to women. His strength lies in his ability to relate to women on a deeper level. He typically makes the relationship about the women he is with, but rarely sticks around. (see also player)
While these two types of men are typically the most attractive to the female gender, these are usually the types women should avoid as neither have an optimistic view on male/female intimacy. Both men have great potential and could easily be great boyfriends, husbands and eventual fathers, but their inability to commit to something bigger than themselves makes them red flags in the dating world.
Labels...
It seems that there are standard and accepted relationship statuses, as evidenced by facebook that you can be single, "casually" dating someone, in a boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship, engaged, married, or divorced. "Divorced", in my mind, is the same thing as being single. Just because you made a relationship mistake in the past, it shouldn't brand your "status" for life. Nowadays, there are also "friends with benefits" and "FTF", adding more complexity into the mix. But I digress.
Some people really enjoy the early stages of relationships where nothing as been defined. There are very few expectations and the focus is on getting to know each other. Relationship labels indicate a certain level of commitment and define expectations, providing security and reducing anxiety. When you're in a relationship, you have to balance the notion of freedom with your commitment to the other person. I don't think you have to sacrifice freedom at all, actually, if you're in the right relationship. And you see the other person as bringing out your best, unique self.
Most people use exclusivitity to define a relationship. If the person you're with doesn't want to date anyone else and wants to commit to being with you along, then they're traditionally considered your boyfriend or girlfriend. But often times, exclusivity is just that and carries no deeper meaning. It doesn't imply love and it doesn't imply expectations.
I don't have any real conclusions to draw here. I am still conflicted on how I feel about relationships. I've come a long way in terms of not labeling myself and using those labels to form an identity. But in terms of relationships, would I rather have a traditional "girlfriend" or a somewhat vauge/ambiguous relationship that was defined by the love and connection? A relationship in which me and my partner felt a unique bond, but it wasn't necessarily understood by others because of the lack of a "label"? I am torn. Many people would probably tell me I can have both and they aren't mutually exclusive.
Some people really enjoy the early stages of relationships where nothing as been defined. There are very few expectations and the focus is on getting to know each other. Relationship labels indicate a certain level of commitment and define expectations, providing security and reducing anxiety. When you're in a relationship, you have to balance the notion of freedom with your commitment to the other person. I don't think you have to sacrifice freedom at all, actually, if you're in the right relationship. And you see the other person as bringing out your best, unique self.
Most people use exclusivitity to define a relationship. If the person you're with doesn't want to date anyone else and wants to commit to being with you along, then they're traditionally considered your boyfriend or girlfriend. But often times, exclusivity is just that and carries no deeper meaning. It doesn't imply love and it doesn't imply expectations.
I don't have any real conclusions to draw here. I am still conflicted on how I feel about relationships. I've come a long way in terms of not labeling myself and using those labels to form an identity. But in terms of relationships, would I rather have a traditional "girlfriend" or a somewhat vauge/ambiguous relationship that was defined by the love and connection? A relationship in which me and my partner felt a unique bond, but it wasn't necessarily understood by others because of the lack of a "label"? I am torn. Many people would probably tell me I can have both and they aren't mutually exclusive.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Beware of the Loner
If you’re the type of person who loves to hang out with a bunch of people at once and can’t stand being by yourself, dating a loner is going to be difficult. You may want to double date while she’d just want to be with you alone. You may want to have a party while she’d just rather have a quiet night at home. You may regard her as lonely, but loners are a different type of people. Ask a loner if that person is lonely, and chances are she’ll say, “No!!!” A loner is content in her own company. She actually enjoys the idea of going to movie theaters and not having the movie spoiled because you’re whispering to her about what’s going to happen next. She likes hanging out in restaurants at a table for one while reading a good book. She wants to shop on her own so she doesn’t have to hang out in line waiting on you. She enjoys doing her own thing.
The problem with loners is that they have a habit of making those who are dating them (or even friends with them) feel like they don’t want them around. But if a loner embraces you in a relationship or friendship, she doesn’t want to mistreat you. For her, hanging out is just that enjoyable all by herself or with you. More often than not, loners adore the few people that they voluntarily surround themselves with.
5 Tips on Dating a Loner
1) If a loner says she doesn’t want to be bothered, you have every right to ask her if you did something wrong or is she mad at you. If she says no, believe it. There are times when a loner just finds being around people, especially people who want her attention, unbearable.
2) Make your needs known early in the relationship. If you are the social butterfly who wants to have social gatherings every month or want to hang out with your friends, your loner partner should never try to stop you from doing that.
3) Try to be cordial to the few friends and family that your loner partner likes to be around. A loner keeps a tightly knit group around her, which means she usually respects these people on a different level. It’s a very bad idea to ignore those who your loner partner has a bond with.
4) Never try to surprise a loner with a party unless you absolutely know she wants one. More than likely, there will be people at that party she won’t like or people she really would rather not be around.
5) Do not try to force your loner partner into being like you. It’s a terrible idea and will never work. The same way you’ll never understand why she’d rather go on a vacation by herself instead of with 10 friends is the way she feels about you inviting 13 people over to watch a game of football. For her, hanging out is just that enjoyable all by herself or with you.
The problem with loners is that they have a habit of making those who are dating them (or even friends with them) feel like they don’t want them around. But if a loner embraces you in a relationship or friendship, she doesn’t want to mistreat you. For her, hanging out is just that enjoyable all by herself or with you. More often than not, loners adore the few people that they voluntarily surround themselves with.
5 Tips on Dating a Loner
1) If a loner says she doesn’t want to be bothered, you have every right to ask her if you did something wrong or is she mad at you. If she says no, believe it. There are times when a loner just finds being around people, especially people who want her attention, unbearable.
2) Make your needs known early in the relationship. If you are the social butterfly who wants to have social gatherings every month or want to hang out with your friends, your loner partner should never try to stop you from doing that.
3) Try to be cordial to the few friends and family that your loner partner likes to be around. A loner keeps a tightly knit group around her, which means she usually respects these people on a different level. It’s a very bad idea to ignore those who your loner partner has a bond with.
4) Never try to surprise a loner with a party unless you absolutely know she wants one. More than likely, there will be people at that party she won’t like or people she really would rather not be around.
5) Do not try to force your loner partner into being like you. It’s a terrible idea and will never work. The same way you’ll never understand why she’d rather go on a vacation by herself instead of with 10 friends is the way she feels about you inviting 13 people over to watch a game of football. For her, hanging out is just that enjoyable all by herself or with you.
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