These days, people say a woman has daddy issues when she appears to be seeking attention from men in order to compensate for the attention she may not have received from her father. When we talk about her daddy issues, we’re generally talking about things like aggressive flirtation, promiscuity, a tendency toward exhibitionism, and certain emotional hang-ups. Whether her daddy issues are actually the result of her relationship with her father or whether “daddy issues” is just the label society has chosen to attach to this kind of behavior, it is a set of characteristics you might encounter in a woman. Consequently, you need to know how to recognize her daddy issues and how to handle them.
Most guys salivate at the idea of a sexually aggressive woman. But if a woman is grinding up against you on a dance floor, initiating public groping and dragging you into her bedroom on the first date, it might be a sign of her daddy issues. If you’re up for a one-night stand, there’s probably nothing you need to do except enjoy the ride. But if you’re interested in a relationship with this girl, your strategy should be to take things slow. If her sexy signals are overly aggressive, tell her you want to slow down and get to know her before doing the deed. Make plans for a future date instead of stripping each other’s clothes off. Show her you’re interested in more than just sex and she won’t feel quite as desperate to impress you with her sexual prowess.
It’s a stereotype that girls with daddy issues flirt a lot. And maybe it was even her flirting that got your attention in the first place. Once she’s your girlfriend, though, flirting with strange men is not going to fly.It’s important to recognize that not all women flirt because they’re interested in the guy they’re talking to. Your girlfriend may be flirting because she craves attention and enjoys the rush of developing sexual tension with a stranger. The best way to deal with this manifestation of her daddy issues is to confront her about it. Tell her you’re not OK with it. The extra attention from you will likely offset the attention she’s been seeking from random guys.
Every woman wants care and assurance from her partner and, of course, girlfriends want to spend quality time with their boyfriends. But a girl with daddy issues wants those things in excess. She may throw a fit whenever you make plans without her. She might beg and bargain whenever you try to leave her apartment. It’s important to keep her daddy issues in check by establishing strict boundaries. Stick to your guns and maintain a separate social life. If you give in to a bout of clinginess once, you’re sunk forever.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Security in Relationships
In the course of a romantic relationship, trust and sense of security plays a major role in determining the direction of the relationship. Without the sense of security, a romantic relationship will fall apart as soon as it started. Healthy couples requires a feeling of security in their relationship and if will be very hard for any couples to maintain a relationship if they do not trust each other. Although it is always true to say that if we do nothing wrong, then there is nothing for us to be afraid of. However the phrase may not be always true when it comes to relationship as couples may wrongly interpret the needs of security in their relationship. Different people may have different definition or feeling of trusts in a relationship and therefore it is important for a couple to agree on a certain ground in this matter. While sense of security or trust may take time to form but it will be always easier if we know how to deal with it.
1) Safe communication.The first step to security in relationship is to build healthy and save communication. Both you and your partners must feel safe to tell each other what you feel and think in your relationship. You must also be able to listen to, understand and affirm with your partner¡s feeling and vice-versa. This means that you and your partner must learn how to identify, label and communicate your feelings effectively across to each other.
2) Refrain from Pre-Judgement. In the course of your relationship, there will be times when you do not understand your partner, why he/she acted the way they did and/or why he/she feel certain way that you cannot comprehend. It is important that you stay calm as such feeling is completely normal in a relationship. However when such things happens, you must refrain yourself from pre-judging the event by calling your partner crazy, stupid and etc. This will indirectly break the sense of security that your partner has for you. Instead support their temporary behavior by affirming it and encourage them to let it out on you and at the same time assuring them that it is safe to do so.
3) Room for partner to express feeling. In addition to the above, you must also provide the room for your partner to express their feeling freely and safely regardless the situation. Regardless whether, your partner is happy, sad, excited and etc, you must allow them to express it even though you are not feeling the same. Therefore it is important to learn that you cannot forbid, dictate nor criticize your partner¡s feeling at any time when your feeling is not in tune with theirs.
4) Understanding your partner. Understanding your partner is the best way to improve the sense of security in your relationship. In other word, we must always understand what is our partner¡s feeling or view on the subject. Every people have different expectation on sense of security when it comes to relationship due to past experience and therefore it is important for you to realize this fact. In order to have mutual and better understanding on sense of security, you must discuss it with your partner with open heart. Perhaps, the best way to be trusted is to be truthful to yourself and as well as your partner.
5) Support each other emotionally. Finally, the most important security factor in a relationship is the ability of the couple in providing emotional support to each other. Learning to read or identifying your partner¡s emotional level at any given point of time is the first step to emotional support. The next step is learning to give the appropriate emotional support the moment you detect any emotional changes in your partner. The ability to detect and support your partner¡s emotion will make a big difference in your relationship especially when it comes to trust.
1) Safe communication.The first step to security in relationship is to build healthy and save communication. Both you and your partners must feel safe to tell each other what you feel and think in your relationship. You must also be able to listen to, understand and affirm with your partner¡s feeling and vice-versa. This means that you and your partner must learn how to identify, label and communicate your feelings effectively across to each other.
2) Refrain from Pre-Judgement. In the course of your relationship, there will be times when you do not understand your partner, why he/she acted the way they did and/or why he/she feel certain way that you cannot comprehend. It is important that you stay calm as such feeling is completely normal in a relationship. However when such things happens, you must refrain yourself from pre-judging the event by calling your partner crazy, stupid and etc. This will indirectly break the sense of security that your partner has for you. Instead support their temporary behavior by affirming it and encourage them to let it out on you and at the same time assuring them that it is safe to do so.
3) Room for partner to express feeling. In addition to the above, you must also provide the room for your partner to express their feeling freely and safely regardless the situation. Regardless whether, your partner is happy, sad, excited and etc, you must allow them to express it even though you are not feeling the same. Therefore it is important to learn that you cannot forbid, dictate nor criticize your partner¡s feeling at any time when your feeling is not in tune with theirs.
4) Understanding your partner. Understanding your partner is the best way to improve the sense of security in your relationship. In other word, we must always understand what is our partner¡s feeling or view on the subject. Every people have different expectation on sense of security when it comes to relationship due to past experience and therefore it is important for you to realize this fact. In order to have mutual and better understanding on sense of security, you must discuss it with your partner with open heart. Perhaps, the best way to be trusted is to be truthful to yourself and as well as your partner.
5) Support each other emotionally. Finally, the most important security factor in a relationship is the ability of the couple in providing emotional support to each other. Learning to read or identifying your partner¡s emotional level at any given point of time is the first step to emotional support. The next step is learning to give the appropriate emotional support the moment you detect any emotional changes in your partner. The ability to detect and support your partner¡s emotion will make a big difference in your relationship especially when it comes to trust.
# 1 Priority...Career or Love?
How many of you have put a career or job first, then a relationship second. Basically you are in a relationship with a girl or guy and it’s going great but you always put them second. And I don’t mean when you first start dating but even in a year into the relationship you’re still putting the relationship second in. It just seems as you get older both girls and guys seem to put there career first instead of the other way around. Which seems logical because you don’t want to ruin a career for some short term relationship.
Everyone’s priorities are different. Whoever said that bit about the last thing you think about in your death bed, is probably going to die alone. As the LAST thing I would want to think about before I die is money. Family, kids, hell even the dog would come before money on my mind.Putting work before your significant other can be detrimental to your relationship IMO.
Unless it is something that was understood as a condition prior to you being together. It also depends to what extent would you be working? Are you gone from 7am to 10pm everyday? Are you on business trips away for weeks at a time? If so, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place.
It all depends on the individual, and where you are in life at this point. It’s easy to say you would put your career first when you do not have someone you really care about. It really is about finding a balance between both, it can’t always be so black and white on what comes first.If you feel driven then drive; drive until you fall asleep at the wheel.
Everyone’s priorities are different. Whoever said that bit about the last thing you think about in your death bed, is probably going to die alone. As the LAST thing I would want to think about before I die is money. Family, kids, hell even the dog would come before money on my mind.Putting work before your significant other can be detrimental to your relationship IMO.
Unless it is something that was understood as a condition prior to you being together. It also depends to what extent would you be working? Are you gone from 7am to 10pm everyday? Are you on business trips away for weeks at a time? If so, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place.
It all depends on the individual, and where you are in life at this point. It’s easy to say you would put your career first when you do not have someone you really care about. It really is about finding a balance between both, it can’t always be so black and white on what comes first.If you feel driven then drive; drive until you fall asleep at the wheel.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Ego's and Relationships
Our Ego is the buffer that prevents us from getting connected to the universe. The ego, the "I am", in other words, puts us in a virtual prison. A prison that makes us believe that the self image we have created is real. We feel we must protect it, we constantly worry about what others should say about us, and whether we stand up to the standards that our ego has set for us.
Are we good or bad? Do we deserve to be loved? Does this person deserve to receive our help or love? We keep ranking people-putting them on pedestals, or putting them in pits, but most important, we forget to put them in our hearts.The Ego disease is a common disease.It can ruin relationships, friendships, and get in the way of our own happiness . What I’ve came to understand, is that my ego has set me to a state of suffering, for false reasons. Made me feel hurt and disrespected, made me get insulted and offended easily, made me feel anger and sometimes even hold resentment for those I blamed for hurting me.
When one releases himself from the chains of the ego and lets only love, sympathy, and compassion come between one and one’s surroundings; one will find it easier to forgive and forget; easier to sympathize and understand the fact that the person who hurts you, does it, because he’s hurt inside, in some way or still has a memory of an event that made him lose his trust and thus he protects himself from hurting again by hurting others. Maybe that person has a basic need, of love, compassion, or understanding that hasn’t been fulfilled yet and thus, it causes frustration within him and pushes him to act in certain ways because of his hurt ego and self image.
You will find this person unaware, but you can see that the difference is that one is aware and thus can sympathize with that person, and even prevent his/her unaware actions and destructive ego driven behavior come between both of them and cause conflicts,when he/she is an "ego free" person. To tell the truth, no one is really 100 percent "ego free", but being in a higher state of awareness than most people, can help someone stop the Ego attacks in time.
Are we good or bad? Do we deserve to be loved? Does this person deserve to receive our help or love? We keep ranking people-putting them on pedestals, or putting them in pits, but most important, we forget to put them in our hearts.The Ego disease is a common disease.It can ruin relationships, friendships, and get in the way of our own happiness . What I’ve came to understand, is that my ego has set me to a state of suffering, for false reasons. Made me feel hurt and disrespected, made me get insulted and offended easily, made me feel anger and sometimes even hold resentment for those I blamed for hurting me.
When one releases himself from the chains of the ego and lets only love, sympathy, and compassion come between one and one’s surroundings; one will find it easier to forgive and forget; easier to sympathize and understand the fact that the person who hurts you, does it, because he’s hurt inside, in some way or still has a memory of an event that made him lose his trust and thus he protects himself from hurting again by hurting others. Maybe that person has a basic need, of love, compassion, or understanding that hasn’t been fulfilled yet and thus, it causes frustration within him and pushes him to act in certain ways because of his hurt ego and self image.
You will find this person unaware, but you can see that the difference is that one is aware and thus can sympathize with that person, and even prevent his/her unaware actions and destructive ego driven behavior come between both of them and cause conflicts,when he/she is an "ego free" person. To tell the truth, no one is really 100 percent "ego free", but being in a higher state of awareness than most people, can help someone stop the Ego attacks in time.
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