Honesty: The One True Con

Statistically speaking, 8 out of 10 people list honesty as their #1 virtue when it comes to a potential mate. So I feel it's safe to say that we find honestly more than slightly endearing. However, it's easy to confuse genuine honesty with someone using honesty as a disarming technique. Honesty is a particularly good quality that can be used as a weapon when trying to fool or "con" someone into a romantic or sexual encounter.

So how does someone use honesty in a dishonest way?

Let me give you a couple of prime examples of how this can play out. As a man, if interested in a woman it's imperative that I overcome the stigma of being interested in just sex, even if that's not the case. So how do I do so? I could tell her how much different I am than the other guys she's met (lie.) Maybe I could go with the line, I've never met a girl I couldn't figure in 5 minutes before, eluding to the fact that I think she's different (lie.) Oh I know, I'll use the classic line that I'm guarded so it's been hard for me to get close to someone bit (biggest lie ever told.)

These are all lies that most women, either through past relationships or the newest romantic comedy have heard before. So what's the easiest way to remedy the situation. By being completely honest!!! Sure, it seems too simple and remedial to be effective, but sometimes less is more. More often than not people fail to pay attention to the motive behind honest words, therefore making honesty a very powerful weapon. Enter the Con...

Let's say you meet someone, the two of you start to vibe and converse, and the more and more you talk to this person they tell you things that people normally aren't up front about the first time you meet them. He talks about past relationships, bad habits, faults, etc....you know, the types of things that people like to keep guarded so you won't dismiss them due to their shortcomings. Now, you might be the type of person to run from such openness, however if you're over the age of 22, chances are you find the fact that this persons' willingness to open up both charming and refreshing.

Hook, Line, and Sinker....


They've already achieved in one conversation what most people take a few dates to achieve. He has made you feel like you're a part of his story or life drawing you closer and yearning for more.

Men also bank on the "challenge factor" when it comes to using honesty as a weapon. On the occasion a man will use the "your less than nothing to me" me approach. And I'll give you a hint, this is not a lie, because odds are he really couldn't care less about you. However some women view this as he's playing "hard to get" or he's just trying to be cute or mysterious assuming he's being dishonest about the "good guy" inside of him. WRONG!!! He's using the fact that he's being honest about not caring to his benefit, and odds are it's probably going to get him laid. If a guy acts like he doesn't care....he genuinely doesn't care!! Yet again honesty has prevailed as the true con.

No ideal or principle is a virtual certainty, but next time you meet someone, I'm certain you'll think twice about automatically thinking that honesty has no ulterior motive.