The Importance of Value

When people see the word "value" the first things that come to mind are most likely money, services and or material things. We are a consumerist society that has become dependent on "things" to make us happy or satisfied. The problem is that this has carried over to how we approach and or deal with romantic relationships. The question of "what can he/she do for me?," has become rampant in the minds of daters, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands,wives, etc. Perhaps that's why the "happy" couple remains so elusive in the dating world today. Do we dismiss or resent people too quickly based on dependency? Is it still possible for a couple to be both independent and co-dependent?

The vast majority of people enjoy when someone buys them a gift, takes them to dinner, or goes out of his/her way to make them feel special. If we didn't, Christmas wouldn't be about gifts and more about spending time with the people you love. (Spare me the "BS" about not caring about such things.) There is nothing wrong with this, however what is wrong is that once we become accustomed to receiving a gift or a service, we become disappointed when it either doesn't happen, remains the same, or doesn't improve. Such an attitude is potentially "fatal" in a relationship as it has a tendency to set our significant other up for failure!

Yes, I'm aware that there are those rare couples who give and take with equal frequency, but there are also people who win the lottery more than once, people that were once blind but can now see and people who escape a catastrophe without a scratch. Bottom line, it's a rarity these days for two people to be in a romantic relationship that isn't laced with resentment. Each is constantly reevaluating the relationship based on their happiness at that particular moment as opposed to looking at the bigger picture. Compatible couples both give and take out of love, not out of the desire for temporary satisfaction. I'm not saying you need to give up on your needs or sacrifice your happiness just to please your partner, but don't expect a Range Rover if you only gave a Ford Focus.

Circling back to value, it appears as though we have lost sight of the value of a kiss, hug, gaze, or even a serious conversation. These things are valuable to a relationships because they cannot be replaced, they can't be given to by anybody but your partner. Some people feel that if something is priceless, then it probably has no worth, however in relationships the value of a kiss should equal that of a million dollar pay day.

With Valentines day around the corner I urge you to consider not what you're partner is going to do for you, but how you can show them how much you care. It doesn't matter if it's a dozen roses or a hand made card, if you give because you care, it will always be valuable!!