Every relationship faces it. Boredom. Everyday is pretty much the same. You and your partner take each other for granted. Sex has become routine. You no longer catch yourself having warm fuzzy feelings about your partner and dreaming up ways to make them happy. Instead your priorities have shifted to work, the kids, money, or what you'll get mom for Christmas. When and where it started, you're not sure. One day you wake up and it occurs to you that your sex life is boring. You may even blame your partner. The cute coworker may have caught your eye and now your wondering why your partner can't give you that kind of attention. Ok, you recognize the symptoms but how do you fix it?
The thing that separates your relationship with your partner from every other relationship is sex. It therefore stands to reason that the way to revive your relationship is through sex. Consider it as playtime between you and your partner. Not only should it be satisfying, it should also be fun. Here are the steps that will help bring some fun back into your sex life.
Never reach the point where you are not touching each other. Touch, whether erotic or not, is crucial to keeping your relationship on track. Again, this is not a relationship that you want to be like others in your life. One or both of you will end up cheating. Cheating often stems from boredom with the relationship. Do not give into this urge as you will be giving up more than you are gaining. If you get caught and break up, you will have all the time in the world to fool around with whoever, whenever you want. In the end you will still feel empty. What you are looking for cannot be found with a stranger.
Working on your relationship, nourishing it with your attention and love, will give a much more fulfilling result. We are all looking for that special someone to fill that emptiness inside us. Who will love us through the good and bad, give our life meaning, our rock when we feel weak and our pillow when we fall. Starting over with someone new every few years makes this very difficult to accomplish.
So I want you to think back to when you met your partner. Think about your time together and the good things you have shared. Is anything else in your life worth more effort than building on that love? It's like a precious flower. Feed it, water it, nurture it and it will grow. Tend to it only when it crosses your mind and it will wither and die. Communicate, appreciate, and have fun. These are the key ingredients to adding zest to a relationship rut.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Dressing for Sex
As a man, it's strange for me to see all of these articles about women dressing for sex as if they were the ones that needed help getting laid!!! To be honest ladies, you could be wearing a brown paper sack, a tiarra and a bar of smelly fisherman boots and 8 out of 10 guys would still give you the go ahead. However, as men it's important for us to "dot the i's and cross the t's" when it comes to sex. I'm aware that women aren't nearly as visual when it comes to sexual stimulation, but let's not be naive and assume that it doesn't matter.
Most women care about how they look, they love to shop and enjoy fashion. So it would be silly as a man to think that they don't pay attention to how I look as well. I'm not saying that we have to go out and spend thousands of dollars on clothes to impress the ladies, but it is important to accentuate your features by wearing certain styles or colors. Ladies pay close attention to several areas when judging a mans appearance, but I'll give you a list of the top 5 fashion must haves when dressing for sex.
1). Shoes - I want you to pay attention the next time you approach a woman at work, the gym, the club or even a supermarket. When a woman checks you out, she starts from the ground up. And wouldn't you know it the first thing she sees are your shoes. They don't have to be Gucci, Diesel or Kenneth Cole, but they better go with your outfit, you better keep them clean and if she sees you wearing black shoes with a brown belt or vice versa, you might as well just walk away.
2). Jeans - Fellas I'm aware that a pair of basketball shorts or sweats are far more comfortable than some form fitting jeans, but when it comes to sex appeal, a nice pair of jeans will go a long way in helping you get to the bedroom. The jeans you wear not only tell a woman that you care about how you look, but it can also tell a woman a lot about your personality. Are you conservative, lazy, a risk taker, bold, etc...?!?
3). Coats - You may be asking yourself why I skipped the shirt portion of the outfit, but allow me to explain. These days a plain t-shirt can have the same type of effect as a button up or a dress shirt depending on the man. However, put with the ideal coat or jacket it can enhance not only the outfit, but the attention you attract as well. The jacket is also important as it can be typically worn 3 out of the 4 seasons on a consistent basis. Hell in the summer you can even through on a sport coat. My advice, invest in a couple of nice coats and you'll significantly increase the positive attention recieved by the opposite sex.
4). Watch - I know that not all men like to wear a watch and thats fine, but if you do decide to wear one, make sure it's not a timex or a runners watch when you're out to dinner, drinks or even on a date. I get it, you're a runner, but to wear it with a sport coat and slacks or jeans shows you're not only "lost" when it comes to fashion, but you're begging her to ask you if you are a runner. Kind of like a guy who wears underarmour or a cut-off shirt everywhere wanting people to knows he works out or is an athlete. It's just obnoxious!! So to make a long story short, take the time to purchase a nice watch, because it could help you seal the deal.
5). Hair - Sure, it's not something you can put on, but it is a huge factor in determining how sexually attractive you are to a woman. I'm not telling you that you have to always have you're hair done up to a "T" or that you have to have the best hair or any hair at all. I'm just saying that take care of what you do have and let her know you took the time to look presentable before you left the house. I don't know if you've ever heard the term, "use what God gave you," but it particularly holds true when it comes to hair.
Most women care about how they look, they love to shop and enjoy fashion. So it would be silly as a man to think that they don't pay attention to how I look as well. I'm not saying that we have to go out and spend thousands of dollars on clothes to impress the ladies, but it is important to accentuate your features by wearing certain styles or colors. Ladies pay close attention to several areas when judging a mans appearance, but I'll give you a list of the top 5 fashion must haves when dressing for sex.
1). Shoes - I want you to pay attention the next time you approach a woman at work, the gym, the club or even a supermarket. When a woman checks you out, she starts from the ground up. And wouldn't you know it the first thing she sees are your shoes. They don't have to be Gucci, Diesel or Kenneth Cole, but they better go with your outfit, you better keep them clean and if she sees you wearing black shoes with a brown belt or vice versa, you might as well just walk away.
2). Jeans - Fellas I'm aware that a pair of basketball shorts or sweats are far more comfortable than some form fitting jeans, but when it comes to sex appeal, a nice pair of jeans will go a long way in helping you get to the bedroom. The jeans you wear not only tell a woman that you care about how you look, but it can also tell a woman a lot about your personality. Are you conservative, lazy, a risk taker, bold, etc...?!?
3). Coats - You may be asking yourself why I skipped the shirt portion of the outfit, but allow me to explain. These days a plain t-shirt can have the same type of effect as a button up or a dress shirt depending on the man. However, put with the ideal coat or jacket it can enhance not only the outfit, but the attention you attract as well. The jacket is also important as it can be typically worn 3 out of the 4 seasons on a consistent basis. Hell in the summer you can even through on a sport coat. My advice, invest in a couple of nice coats and you'll significantly increase the positive attention recieved by the opposite sex.
4). Watch - I know that not all men like to wear a watch and thats fine, but if you do decide to wear one, make sure it's not a timex or a runners watch when you're out to dinner, drinks or even on a date. I get it, you're a runner, but to wear it with a sport coat and slacks or jeans shows you're not only "lost" when it comes to fashion, but you're begging her to ask you if you are a runner. Kind of like a guy who wears underarmour or a cut-off shirt everywhere wanting people to knows he works out or is an athlete. It's just obnoxious!! So to make a long story short, take the time to purchase a nice watch, because it could help you seal the deal.
5). Hair - Sure, it's not something you can put on, but it is a huge factor in determining how sexually attractive you are to a woman. I'm not telling you that you have to always have you're hair done up to a "T" or that you have to have the best hair or any hair at all. I'm just saying that take care of what you do have and let her know you took the time to look presentable before you left the house. I don't know if you've ever heard the term, "use what God gave you," but it particularly holds true when it comes to hair.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
The Approach
Men have always had different ways of approaching women and probably always will. I can't honestly say that there is one or two specific ways to approach a woman as each woman responds to each man differently. Some men are charming, some are very good looking, some are bad boys, some are successful, etc. All of these men should use what they are to their advantage when approaching a woman right from the get-go. Because all it takes is saying or doing the wrong thing and you could blow your chances.
So I guess the important part is nailing the approach. Like I said, each man should approach women in a different way by using their strengths and avoiding their weaknesses. Instead of making the mistake of trying to push my strengths upon you, I'm going to share with you the 10 ways you should NEVER approach a woman!!
1) Giving her a lame compliment - by opening her with something like "you're so beautiful, can I take you out sometime?". You are immediately conveying lower status, because you are the one that wants to buy her approval. I'm not saying don't give compliments, but you need to pepper it within the conversation about things you notice about her apart from her physical appearance.
2) Immediately doing her a favor when she has done nothing to earn it - This is when a guy buys a girl a drink for no apparent reason. He does her a favor, like buying her a drink. What does this do? He shows to the girl that he is trying to impress her with money and is supplicating immediately to her. Thus lowering his own status.
3) Approaching her while speaking too quietly- This shows to her you are afraid of letting her know you are there. Do not come up from behind when you approach her, instead let her know you are walking up to her. Also, when you talk to her, make sure she hears you.
4) Giving little eye contact - Many guys are afraid to look at a women in the eye when he is talking to her. A man who looks straight into the women's eyes tells her that he is a high status male, he knows what he is doing and he is very confident. This is attractive. Looking elsewhere when attempting to approach her is not.
5) Being "the drunk guy" - Women do not appreciate being just hit on by "the drunk guy" because you show her you are not confident enough to talk to her without being boozed up with alcohol. No confidence equates to being a lower status male and this is not attractive.
6) Not being able to create a presence - when a man approaches a women, he needs to let her know he is there, and create a presence. Owning your own space and acquiescing to others spatially lets her know that you are not comfortable being there. If you're not comfortable you're not confident, and you are not attractive. This is not how to approach women. Instead, you should be holding yourself in an accommodating position where you are relaxed with a confident pose, especially if there are other guys around.
7) Trying too HARD to say the right things - This comes down to the fact that many men are goal orientated when they meet women. The focus is not to get anything from her but rather just enjoy the interaction between you two. If you can do this then the pressure of performance is lifted and you will pass the female screening test for men. Because, you are not out to get something from her.
8) Ignoring her friends- Remember, friends to a women are very important. Thus, if you ignore her friends, your intentions will be obvious and you will be perceived as that guy who is obviously trying to hit on her and being rude to her friends. This is not attractive and does not help. Further, you'll look antisocial and seem as if you have no social intelligence. You will make the whole situation seem awkward and weird.
9) Asking for the number too soon - The interaction should be fun and amusing for both of you. If you are there just to get her number, then you have an agenda thus you will be putting the interaction in a box. Things will not be able to move smoothly and it will kill any rapport that you had. Some guys think of getting her phone number as a reward to give her. If she is cool enough then you want to hang out with her. Not the other way around. Thus, you should only ask for her number if you are comfortable with her, and don't make it too soon so it would be obvious.
10) Not initiating flirting - Unless you want to be categorized as a friend only, you don't want to be the guy who does no flirting. Flirting in itself creates attraction. Without flirting then there is also really no point in approaching!
So I guess the important part is nailing the approach. Like I said, each man should approach women in a different way by using their strengths and avoiding their weaknesses. Instead of making the mistake of trying to push my strengths upon you, I'm going to share with you the 10 ways you should NEVER approach a woman!!
1) Giving her a lame compliment - by opening her with something like "you're so beautiful, can I take you out sometime?". You are immediately conveying lower status, because you are the one that wants to buy her approval. I'm not saying don't give compliments, but you need to pepper it within the conversation about things you notice about her apart from her physical appearance.
2) Immediately doing her a favor when she has done nothing to earn it - This is when a guy buys a girl a drink for no apparent reason. He does her a favor, like buying her a drink. What does this do? He shows to the girl that he is trying to impress her with money and is supplicating immediately to her. Thus lowering his own status.
3) Approaching her while speaking too quietly- This shows to her you are afraid of letting her know you are there. Do not come up from behind when you approach her, instead let her know you are walking up to her. Also, when you talk to her, make sure she hears you.
4) Giving little eye contact - Many guys are afraid to look at a women in the eye when he is talking to her. A man who looks straight into the women's eyes tells her that he is a high status male, he knows what he is doing and he is very confident. This is attractive. Looking elsewhere when attempting to approach her is not.
5) Being "the drunk guy" - Women do not appreciate being just hit on by "the drunk guy" because you show her you are not confident enough to talk to her without being boozed up with alcohol. No confidence equates to being a lower status male and this is not attractive.
6) Not being able to create a presence - when a man approaches a women, he needs to let her know he is there, and create a presence. Owning your own space and acquiescing to others spatially lets her know that you are not comfortable being there. If you're not comfortable you're not confident, and you are not attractive. This is not how to approach women. Instead, you should be holding yourself in an accommodating position where you are relaxed with a confident pose, especially if there are other guys around.
7) Trying too HARD to say the right things - This comes down to the fact that many men are goal orientated when they meet women. The focus is not to get anything from her but rather just enjoy the interaction between you two. If you can do this then the pressure of performance is lifted and you will pass the female screening test for men. Because, you are not out to get something from her.
8) Ignoring her friends- Remember, friends to a women are very important. Thus, if you ignore her friends, your intentions will be obvious and you will be perceived as that guy who is obviously trying to hit on her and being rude to her friends. This is not attractive and does not help. Further, you'll look antisocial and seem as if you have no social intelligence. You will make the whole situation seem awkward and weird.
9) Asking for the number too soon - The interaction should be fun and amusing for both of you. If you are there just to get her number, then you have an agenda thus you will be putting the interaction in a box. Things will not be able to move smoothly and it will kill any rapport that you had. Some guys think of getting her phone number as a reward to give her. If she is cool enough then you want to hang out with her. Not the other way around. Thus, you should only ask for her number if you are comfortable with her, and don't make it too soon so it would be obvious.
10) Not initiating flirting - Unless you want to be categorized as a friend only, you don't want to be the guy who does no flirting. Flirting in itself creates attraction. Without flirting then there is also really no point in approaching!
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