The Five Worst Places for a Date

Let's look at the function of a date. If you're single, a date acts like an interview. Your goal is to get the other person to still like you enough when the date is over to go out with you again, assuming you're still interested as well. You're trying to appear cool, sexy, together, confident, and fun. You're also trying to make the other person as comfortable as possible.
That's why avoiding the worst places is the first step in smart dating.

The following lists the worst places you could choose to go on a date and I recommend that you avoid them like the plague if you want the other person to still like you when it's over.

1). An Amusement Park

As the roller coaster nears its pinnacle your date looks over the side and silently swears under her breath at you for talking her into going on this ride. She hates roller coasters, has always been afraid of them, and is highly susceptible to motion sickness. As she contemplates her strategy to avoid you in the future, the coaster starts its stomach-turning decent, and she leans over and throws up in your lap, her way of saying "Thanks for the great date".

2). The Beach

Don't get me wrong, the beach is a great place. But from the point of view of a date with a near stranger, it stinks. First, there's an awful lot of sand and it can get everywhere. You can't easily eat on the beach; a lack of furniture contributes to that. With sand and bugs-o-plenty, eating ends up being a drag.

Possibly the worst thing about the beach is that you're compelled to take off most of your clothes. Now, if you both have hot bodies, well-groomed with flat stomachs and great muscle tone, then you have nothing to worry about. But if you don't, stay away from places that make you feel silly if you want to keep all your imperfection-hiding clothes on.

3). A Non-Traditional Restaurant

A first date doesn't want to watch you maul your barbeque ribs and chicken legs like The Missing Link. No one likes the thought of being touched later on by greasy fingers. And have you ever eaten corn on the cob and come away with clean teeth?

4). A Family Function

There's no such thing as a family that isn't dysfunctional. It doesn't exist. If you bring a first or second date to a family function be prepared for somebody to embarrass you. Grandma will ask you two when you're getting married and when to expect great grandchildren. And your little cousin will promptly tell your date all about the time you farted in church.

So....it goes without saying that I never bring dates to family functions. And you shouldn't either. Weddings, reunions, baptisms, bat mitzvahs, and especially funerals, are out.

5). Your Parent's House for Dinner

I can't think of a more uncomfortable setting than sitting at a dinner table with complete strangers in their own house. Don't put a date through this torture. You may have the hippest parents in the world. They may intelligent, hospitable and interesting. But don't subject anyone you just recently met to your parents for an entire dinner.


Dates can be traumatic and nerve-racking in the best of places so don't make it harder on either of you than you have to. There are some great places to take a date that will make you look like a hero, won't cost you too much, will give you just enough time to talk to each other, but will also provide an entertaining distraction.