Let's look at the function of a date. If you're single, a date acts like an interview. Your goal is to get the other person to still like you enough when the date is over to go out with you again, assuming you're still interested as well. You're trying to appear cool, sexy, together, confident, and fun. You're also trying to make the other person as comfortable as possible.
That's why avoiding the worst places is the first step in smart dating.
The following lists the worst places you could choose to go on a date and I recommend that you avoid them like the plague if you want the other person to still like you when it's over.
1). An Amusement Park
As the roller coaster nears its pinnacle your date looks over the side and silently swears under her breath at you for talking her into going on this ride. She hates roller coasters, has always been afraid of them, and is highly susceptible to motion sickness. As she contemplates her strategy to avoid you in the future, the coaster starts its stomach-turning decent, and she leans over and throws up in your lap, her way of saying "Thanks for the great date".
2). The Beach
Don't get me wrong, the beach is a great place. But from the point of view of a date with a near stranger, it stinks. First, there's an awful lot of sand and it can get everywhere. You can't easily eat on the beach; a lack of furniture contributes to that. With sand and bugs-o-plenty, eating ends up being a drag.
Possibly the worst thing about the beach is that you're compelled to take off most of your clothes. Now, if you both have hot bodies, well-groomed with flat stomachs and great muscle tone, then you have nothing to worry about. But if you don't, stay away from places that make you feel silly if you want to keep all your imperfection-hiding clothes on.
3). A Non-Traditional Restaurant
A first date doesn't want to watch you maul your barbeque ribs and chicken legs like The Missing Link. No one likes the thought of being touched later on by greasy fingers. And have you ever eaten corn on the cob and come away with clean teeth?
4). A Family Function
There's no such thing as a family that isn't dysfunctional. It doesn't exist. If you bring a first or second date to a family function be prepared for somebody to embarrass you. Grandma will ask you two when you're getting married and when to expect great grandchildren. And your little cousin will promptly tell your date all about the time you farted in church.
So....it goes without saying that I never bring dates to family functions. And you shouldn't either. Weddings, reunions, baptisms, bat mitzvahs, and especially funerals, are out.
5). Your Parent's House for Dinner
I can't think of a more uncomfortable setting than sitting at a dinner table with complete strangers in their own house. Don't put a date through this torture. You may have the hippest parents in the world. They may intelligent, hospitable and interesting. But don't subject anyone you just recently met to your parents for an entire dinner.
Dates can be traumatic and nerve-racking in the best of places so don't make it harder on either of you than you have to. There are some great places to take a date that will make you look like a hero, won't cost you too much, will give you just enough time to talk to each other, but will also provide an entertaining distraction.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
How You Know He Cares
(Ladies of the World)
I think it's safe to say that we've all enjoyed a romantic comedy or two in our lifetime. However despite enjoying these fun loving, happy ending type of movies, we often fail to realize that it's just that, a movie. Probably the most popular self-help book turned romantic comedy of the past 3 or 4 years was aptly titled "He's Just Not That Into You." This book touches on the subject of picking up signs that your significant other might not be that into you and or clearly isn't someone with whom you should invest your time.
Men do or don't do many different things to let a woman know that he is interested in her. The key to knowing whether or not he really is that into you is to pay attention. By paying attention to both the "sweet" things he does and the "not-so-sweet" you'll be able to tell the degree in which he likes you. Don't allow yourself to dwell on the only the good or the bad things he does because that will cause you either to hold on to something that isn't, or dismiss something that could be.
When a man really likes a girl, its all about the effort. If he consistently makes an effort either to talk with or hang out with you; He Likes You!! If a man is the first one to call, text, or email you; He Likes You!! If a man listens more than he talks when in a serious conversation; He Likes You!! If he still gets nervous around you; He Likes You!!
Now, if a man isn't that into you, here are the Top 5 things he'll do:
1). He'll be very inconsistent with dates and or hangouts
2). He'll wait for you to call/text him first
3). He'll try to control every conversation
4). He'll reschedule early and often
5). He'll be vague and distant and often play the victim
I think it's safe to say that we've all enjoyed a romantic comedy or two in our lifetime. However despite enjoying these fun loving, happy ending type of movies, we often fail to realize that it's just that, a movie. Probably the most popular self-help book turned romantic comedy of the past 3 or 4 years was aptly titled "He's Just Not That Into You." This book touches on the subject of picking up signs that your significant other might not be that into you and or clearly isn't someone with whom you should invest your time.
Men do or don't do many different things to let a woman know that he is interested in her. The key to knowing whether or not he really is that into you is to pay attention. By paying attention to both the "sweet" things he does and the "not-so-sweet" you'll be able to tell the degree in which he likes you. Don't allow yourself to dwell on the only the good or the bad things he does because that will cause you either to hold on to something that isn't, or dismiss something that could be.
When a man really likes a girl, its all about the effort. If he consistently makes an effort either to talk with or hang out with you; He Likes You!! If a man is the first one to call, text, or email you; He Likes You!! If a man listens more than he talks when in a serious conversation; He Likes You!! If he still gets nervous around you; He Likes You!!
Now, if a man isn't that into you, here are the Top 5 things he'll do:
1). He'll be very inconsistent with dates and or hangouts
2). He'll wait for you to call/text him first
3). He'll try to control every conversation
4). He'll reschedule early and often
5). He'll be vague and distant and often play the victim
Monday, July 19, 2010
What If...
"What if he falls out of love with me?"
"What if she finds someone better?"
"What if we aren't meant to be?"
"What if I'm not ready for a relationship?"
One of the biggest enemies of a monogamous relationship is the inquisitive statement: What if? So many people fill themselves with self-doubt through this statement and it becomes their excuse for not allowing themselves to be in a happy, successful relationship. Or even worse, gives them a reason to stay in an emotionally or physically abusive one. Whatever the case, one might infer that removing "what if?" from his vocabulary entirely might benefit him in more ways than just relationships.
Using the phrase "What if?" can limit your ability to think logically about a romantic relationship or potential love interest. Part of the excitement of a relationship or meeting someone new is the unknown, so when thinking about all the things that could happen, you are already sabotaging what could be a very fulfilling partnership with a membership of the opposite sex. Bad things can and will happen, but so will good things if you allow them to.
The term "what if" is very similar to the idea that it's better to be safe than sorry. I hate this idea because it eliminates many opportunities for people as they become fearful or complacent in both life and relationships. I, myself prefer to live by the idea that it's better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. And while the two philosophies are different subjectively, the principles upon which they are based are similar objectively.
The fear of taking risks is what holds most single, lonely people single and lonely. Allowing yourself to care or even love another person will always be a risk and is a bridge you'll have to cross if you're ever going to find happiness in a relationship. Bottom line: It's ok to take a leap of faith. The worst thing that can happen to you is that you learn a valuable life lesson in whom to take chances on and whom to avoid. So, live a little and the next time you start to think or say what if...DON'T!!!!
"What if she finds someone better?"
"What if we aren't meant to be?"
"What if I'm not ready for a relationship?"
One of the biggest enemies of a monogamous relationship is the inquisitive statement: What if? So many people fill themselves with self-doubt through this statement and it becomes their excuse for not allowing themselves to be in a happy, successful relationship. Or even worse, gives them a reason to stay in an emotionally or physically abusive one. Whatever the case, one might infer that removing "what if?" from his vocabulary entirely might benefit him in more ways than just relationships.
Using the phrase "What if?" can limit your ability to think logically about a romantic relationship or potential love interest. Part of the excitement of a relationship or meeting someone new is the unknown, so when thinking about all the things that could happen, you are already sabotaging what could be a very fulfilling partnership with a membership of the opposite sex. Bad things can and will happen, but so will good things if you allow them to.
The term "what if" is very similar to the idea that it's better to be safe than sorry. I hate this idea because it eliminates many opportunities for people as they become fearful or complacent in both life and relationships. I, myself prefer to live by the idea that it's better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. And while the two philosophies are different subjectively, the principles upon which they are based are similar objectively.
The fear of taking risks is what holds most single, lonely people single and lonely. Allowing yourself to care or even love another person will always be a risk and is a bridge you'll have to cross if you're ever going to find happiness in a relationship. Bottom line: It's ok to take a leap of faith. The worst thing that can happen to you is that you learn a valuable life lesson in whom to take chances on and whom to avoid. So, live a little and the next time you start to think or say what if...DON'T!!!!
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