Dating: The Interview Process

"What should I wear?"



" I wonder what we'll talk about."



"I hope she's hot."



"I hope he's not boring."



Unfortunately we have all probably made one of these statements prior to going on a date one time or another. More often than not people are quite nervous in the initial stages of dating. Sadly enough, it's part of human nature to want to be accepted, and upon meeting someone new people become weary of being judged harshly. Due to this, we often find ourselves giving canned answers to various questions in fear of being rejected for our true beliefs. Dating has always been somewhat of an interview, but do we pay too much attention to our own expectations and ignore the positive attributes about the person in front of us?! Are our expectations too high prior to a date? Should we even have expectations for a person we barely know?!

I'm not telling you anything new when I say that the biggest problem in both dating and relationships is the human tendency to be insecure. Insecurity brings upon doubt, and with doubt people sometimes long to be something that they think people will want rather than themselves. Sure, there are people who are completely confident in who they are, what they want and where they are going. However, according to People Magazine, 80% of Americans are unsatisfied with how they look and a staggering 90% are afraid of being alone.

Probably the biggest issue with insecurity, is that it occasionally causes people to be dishonest. It's not that these people are "liars" by nature, but the fear of the person across from them rejecting who they truly causes them to bend the truth. NOBODY is immune to the fear of rejection. I repeat, NOBODY!! If you think you are, then you are probably someone who is not only dishonest with others, but with yourself.

Expecting someone to treat you with respect, be polite and hoping that the date will be entertaining is one thing, but expecting to meet Ms. Right or Prince Charming is another. Everyone hopes that a date will be interesting and even fun, but too many of us expect too much too soon. "People want to rush into a relationship and they want it all to work out right away. They become very concerned if the other person doesn't call them quickly or doesn't want to see them with increasing frequency," says JoAnn White, a relationship expert and psychology instructor at Temple University in Philadelphia. Often those expectations are simply unrealistic.

The fact that we even have expectations for a new addition in our lives is silly in itself. Dating by nature is subjecting ones self to a new person and whether you want to believe it or not, new ideals. Going into a date with the expectation of a specific kind of relationship has a tendency to doom the union before it starts. Too often we sabotage our own relationships because of what we expect from other people rather then being honest with ourselves about what WE bring to the table.