Behind the Title

In regards to relationships, each person looks for different things. Is she hot? Is he funny? Does she smoke? Does he have a good job? The strange thing is that despite each person liking different attributes in a significant other, many people seem to fall for something other than they're looking for. During the dating process people often find themselves molding into what their significant other is looking for, which is a form of mirroring. Due to the natural fear of ending up alone, many of us try to be something someone else wants rather than be ourselves.



I'm not suggesting that this can be changed, altered or even reversed. We are insecure as a society and I don't see that changing in the near future. The problem is that due to our insecurity as a whole, particularly in the dating realm, we have become more and more susceptible to fraud and or a "con."



We have all heard of bank fraud, credit card fraud, insurance fraud, etc. The majority of us have also probably met a con man on the streets trying to hustle us for money, food or a bottle of whiskey. However, probably the most frequent form of fraud we are subjected to is within the world of dating. This post goes hand in hand with "...Hate the Game" because dating has become just that, a game. The rules to the game are quite simple:



1). Don't get Hurt



2). Don't get Played



3). Remain Elusive



4). Never Commit



5). Befriend the white lie



The best and worst part about the relationship con is that it doesn't require you to be completely dishonest. A balance of complete honesty and a few omissions create the perfect recipe for such a con. Such a situation requires two types of people: the Hopeful Romantic and the Emotional Retard. The two types are typically drawn to one another but almost always have different agendas. Enter: The Honest Con!

So how can someone be both honest and a con man? The answer is typically that he/she can't, but when it comes to human emotion, someone can be completely honest with you, and still be conning you. For example, lets say you meet somebody that you are attracted to. They seem to have all the characteristics you are looking for and has their shit together. You hang out a few times, maybe even go on some dates, and things seem like they're going well. Then the ball begins to drop. You make plans for an evening out or even a hang out, and then he/she cancels giving the "I'm really tired" excuse. You shrug it off accordingly because it's the first time its happened. Events like these continue to occur more and more frequently, but you continue to shrug it off because of extenuating circumstances. These circumstances usually include the following up of a blow-off by having a great night together or a meaningful conversation. Yes, I'm aware that people have things come up, but if you think that a string of these events are a coincidence, you are being conned.

This is not me saying that these people don't care. Chances are they do, but they care more about control and not getting hurt than your feelings. The reason I entitled this blog "The Honest Con," is in large part because the world of dating has become about manipulation rather than affection. Many people have become so comfortable in their "player" roles that its hard for them to realize what dating actually is. The art of the con has become their inspiration upon meeting a member of the opposite sex rather than actually getting to know someone. Dating is now a hobby for this person and an actual connection......an afterthought. So if you think someone is too good to be true, don't overlook your instincts, because he/she most likely fits the bill.