Defining The Relationship

Have you ever dated someone but the title of Boyfriend or Girlfriend remained elusive? Did you have that awkward "what are we" talk? If so you have taken part in the uncomfortable but necessary act of Defining the Relationship (DTR.) DTR is something many of us dread as it is either the beginning or the end of a potential long-term relationship.

DTRs can be scary. Done too soon (before a relationship has had some time to develop naturally) they can convey desperation and push the other person away. But they can also be done too late. People who don't want to mess up the delicate dance of a relationship may put off a DTR as long as possible. They might prefer to just enjoy their connection and hope for the best from each other rather than going through the awkward process of asking what their connection means in terms of exclusivity and the future.

Done right, however, a DTR can save couples months (even years) of heartache. As tempting as it can be to simply enjoy having someone to hang out with, to be a listening ear or to share affection, it's important for your heart, your future and even your spiritual health to clarify what you have and where it's going. Sometimes the best thing that can happen as a result of a DTR is that a couple will realize they don't have a future together and can go their separate ways before getting more entangled.